Are You A Cheeser? Signs You Are An Exploit Abuser And How To Save Yourself

Hi, my name is Outspoknpoet and I am a cheeser.  (At least, that’s how I think it would go if we were forced to attend a support group for using game exploits.)

im-baking-like-a-toasted-cheeser

I am a bit old school in my views of video games.  If there is something in the game that makes it easier to beat a CPU opponent, it is meant to be used… and maybe (always) abused.  For those of you that consider yourself an untouchable ‘purist’ that has never and will never use an exploit in a game I have two things to tell you.

1 – That’s BS and you know it.

2 – You are the gaming version of a hipster, congratulations.

Now that we have covered those bases, here is a quick definition from my point of view that covers what it means to be ‘cheesing’ and therefore makes you a ‘cheeser’.  Cheesing is simply defined as using a feature or mechanic in a video game in a way that exploits the AI in a way that it wasn’t necessarily intended to be used.

For instance, a few years ago I posted a video that showed the broken trade logic in Madden 12 and how you could use it to essentially trade for every single first round pick in franchise mode at the time.

The same goes for gameplay mechanics as well.  If there is a certain part of the game that you are playing where the CPU AI will move and opponent or make the opponent in question do something outside of what you would consider to be smart or normal  and you trigger that to happen if you can – that is cheesing.

Also, in sports games (especially Madden) there is a tremendous problem with cheesing that not only occurs against the CPU, but also against real-world opponents online and on local console match-ups.  A prime example of this in Madden (which seemingly hasn’t been fixed going into Madden 19) is almost every version of the screen pass.  It not only locks certain animations into motion, but it almost always guarantees a long gain on the play.  Those of you that have played Madden Ultimate Team know what I am talking about.  I would venture to say that most of us have used this more than a few times.  Here is an example…

Now, for those of you that get the picture.  Here are a few ways you can fix the problem on your end.

  1. Don’t use the play or the exploit – it really is that simple.
  2. In Madden, set up house rules for playcalling, running a certain exploit play once a game (or once a half) is a good start.
  3. Stream your games for others to watch.  Assuming you aren’t doing a speed-run (which is basically built on exploits, sigh) this kind of thing will keep you honest because there are witnesses.
  4. If it’s a difficulty thing and it can be changed (All Madden is known for making the CPU into a cheesing (if not completely cheating) AI.  I have found that setting it to All-Pro and making the sliders a bit less forgiving can be helpful.
  5. Decide what you want from your gaming experience.  If you are the type that just wants to blast the CPU all day long, go for it… cheese away.  Don’t expect to get a round of applause from your friends or anyone else – it’s your game.  You do you.

ONE THING TO NEVER DO!!!!!

Don’t cheese in online games.  We have all run into people that will use certain plays in sports games or certain tactics, characters, and/or weapons in any amount of other games.  It ruins the experience for everyone (even you) when you are cheating.  It quite simply is super uncool and if it can be proven, you should be banned from playing that game online – thankfully, some developers are taking this seriously.

Have fun out there.  Just don’t be a cheeser.

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Toxic Masculinity Is The Elephant In The Gaming Room

Now that EA has released the cover picture and the trailer for Battlefield 5 it is time to look forward what should be another great title in a series that has shown tremendous growth and support over the last decade plus.

The trailer features gameplay that includes women in warzones during World War 2.  Apparently, this kind of inclusion of women in a game that doesn’t feature them as busty sex objects is offensive to boys that have aged towards becoming mediocre adults that would like to think they are manly.  They have an obvious misunderstanding of what it means to be a man.  It is worth talking about this because it is still something that we clearly need to continue working on in larger ways than hashtags and such.

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A lot of the anger is that they are showing women in combat roles.  The feelings are obviously misplaced and those that try to justify it use the weak excuse of ‘historical accuracy’.  What they seem to forget is that women and minority groups have largely been written out of history in order to preserve the societal idiocy that continues to push an often white male narrative.  For evidence of this, here is an article about a badass woman named Aethelflaed that was nearly written out of history.

Sadly, there are some rather loud personalities coming out of the digital cesspool so they can get attention for being the worst kind of person they can be.  The disgusting and uninformed posts are easy enough to find if you want to read them.  I won’t link to any of them because they don’t deserve the clicks – or the time of anyone.

It’s been almost four years since I had to tackle this topic head-on (link here) and it still leaves me stunned for some weird reason that insecure males are so proficient at existing in their little bubble of idiocy.  Part of me is holding out hope that most of these personalities are Russian trolls that are trying to sow hate and discontent within the gaming community.  Part of me knows that these people actually exist.  It makes me sad to think that there are still people out there that raise their kids with the poisonous vitriol that eventually becomes an adult with destructively ugly misogynistic beliefs and a loud mouth to go with it.

All of this said… I have to end on a positive note.

EA has impressed me with their response (link here) to the trolls by telling them that they aren’t the kind of gamers they want anyway.  I like this move because it finally shows that positive steps are being made at the top and it’s not just some sort of grassroots movement with empty hashtags and tweets.  It’s vital for companies to continue making these statements and decisions because it tells the loud boys that they aren’t needed in the first place.

Dark Souls – Git Gud or Git Evin?

As I play through Dark Souls Remastered I can’t help but understand the nostalgia some Souls enthusiasts have had for the first of the Dark Souls trifecta.

As someone that started his FROM Software gaming with Bloodborne and then moved to DS3 and now DS Remastered I must say I am not a purist in terms of playing any of these games with honor when facing the AI.  I have been killed by more swords through walls, stairs, and other hit box shenanigans that only SoulsBorne fans can really appreciate.

Last night I faced off against the Capra Demon for the sixth time.  Whether I got killed by the dogs or the first epic sword swing, etc… I ran out of patience when it came to dodging swings from this a-hole only to get hit through a wall or a pillar.

Capra
The Capra Demon

Finally, I decided it was time to come through that mist wall ready with a fire bomb for the puppies.  After getting rushed and nearly pummeled to death I climbed the stairs and took out one of the evil doggos.  Then I jumped down from the ledge with my fire bomb equipped for the other evil pup… Boom! – one quick victory.  Now, for the dual bladed horned jerk – two can play at this cheesy game.  I climbed the stairs and then took the wall ledge as far as I could and with my target locked I drop attacked (held my R1 Attack button as I fell on top of the demon).  Bam!  A chunk of health came off.

Here we go!

Eventually it turned into a merry-go-round of sorts as I baited the baddy up the stairs and off the ledge.  I would race up and take advantage of when the beast was once again below my original attack place.  The demon still found a way to get me a couple of times.  Finally, I managed to get it to a point where one more attack would finish the fight.  I jumped off the ledge and waited for the follow-up.

The beast jumped down… and died on impact.

As much as I felt cheated in terms of striking down the beast I felt more joy in knowing that this game has (and continues to) dulled out more punishment than I have given to it and finally getting a small victory in the same way it finds ways to beat me – it was awesome.

Some of the purists will say I cheesed the game and I need to ‘git gud’ (Get Good).  I disagree… I will continue to git evin (Get Even).

Get out there and fight, demon slayer!

 

Is Watch Dogs The GTA Killer?

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In just a couple weeks we will be introduced to the first real open-world game on next-gen consoles – Watch Dogs.

After a delay that was most likely due to the overwhelming popularity of Grand Theft Auto V and the fact that Ubisoft also had the release of Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag to deal with as well.  Regardless of the reasons for delay, Watch Dogs is a combination of the two games.

The open world of Chicago is combined with many similar mechanics from Assassin’s Creed in the combat/parkour  animations.  While you aren’t necessarily jumping from rooftops into wagons full of straw/hay ( I never understood the realism of that).  You will be able to hack into the numerous forms of electronic surveillance and other devices in order to accomplish your mission (or side mission).

The easiest comparison to Watch Dogs’ multiplayer (which is also a seamless experience – more on that soon) can be found in Assassin’s Creed 3’s  multiplayer where numerous players try to disguise themselves as NPCs (Non-Playable Characters) and move in for the kill on you or any other assassin.  In the case of Watch Dogs, you will see that players from all over can join your single-player game and start tracking you down and try to hack your device as well – all while trying to act like ‘some other character’ roaming around the world.

The general idea of this game is intriguing and it is coming at a perfect time for next-gen gamers that might be wondering where the hell their good games are these days.  Fear not, Watch Dogs is almost here – and it looks like a winner.

Madden 15 Finally Releases Typical Hype Reel

So, EA Tiburon has finally unleashed the marketing train that they hope will catch football gamers by storm.  The best (and worst) part about these trailers is the graphical presentation.  What makes it awesome is rather obvious… go ahead and get the “Ehr Mah Gehrdddd!  He Looks Realzz!” out of your system.  Yes, sure – the faces of players in sports games is cool.  We always dreamed about it back when we were playing 8-bit Tecmo Bowl back in the day and now it is finally here… again.  Perhaps someone should remind you about the Madden 06 trailer that was complete garbage and meant nothing at all from the graphical or gameplay aspects of the actual game..

Now, another thing to consider is that after you watch the cut-scenes that might seem cool the first four times you play Madden during a game – you will most likely start smashing the A/X button repeatedly to play the actual game and skip the repetitious cut-scenes with “Ehr Mah Gehrdddd!  He Looks Realzz!” faces of players.  Then, it is back to seeing the back of the offensive players’ helmets and the front of the defenders from about 60 ft away if you use the default camera angle.  So, it begs the question… Why do we care about digitized faces with sweat, etc?

There are bigger things for EA to worry about and there are bigger things they need to do to convince people to buy their annual roster update.  One of those things is to show the gamers that it is more than simply a roster update (if it is… it probably isn’t).  Will we finally have morale in franchise mode?  Will the challenge system be worth a damn?  Will there maybe be some sort of injury system that makes sense?  Dare I ask if they will put in realistic injuries for once?  Maybe even *gasp* real-time injuries?

Coverage of Madden is about to start going off the deep end shortly and any/all of the new additions will already be in the process of being finalized.  This means that any ‘new’ ideas we might have will have to wait for Madden 16 at the earliest.  Outside of the couple hopes I listed above, I have to say that I have a slight hope for Madden 15 this year.  While I have yet to decide on a next-gen console, I am hoping to find a reason to get one.  Hopefully Madden 15 will actually prove my skeptical nature wrong this year.

But I doubt it.

Richard Sherman and Why Madden Needs Emotion

Until something changes with the exclusive NFL License, we will have to assume that Madden is the only option for gamers that want and NFL game.  That said, the crazy post-game interview of Richard Sherman begs the question that is on the minds of many sports gamers.

Sherman

Where is the emotion?

When players in Madden throw big touchdowns there is typically the same canned response and/or animation.  There are some of the typical ‘player specific’ celebrations as well (Dez Bryant, Aaron Rodgers, etc.)

While the NFL is taking out many of the ‘big hits’ and other parts of football that people and players expect – why do we not see more emotion from players on the field?  That goes for frustration as much as anything else.  The quarterback that has thrown four or five interceptions should be noticeably upset.  That goes for receivers dropping balls and running-backs losing fumbles.

While I’m not suggesting that the post-game interviews be presented in some sort of WWE fashion – I am suggesting that Madden adds some depth to their game in this regard.  Players often perform based on the emotion of the moment and that is something that the graphically dead faces of Madden players certainly don’t show.  For that matter – the players typically perform based strictly on ratings so much to a point that the game feels pre-determined.

As we prepare to enter the doldrums of gaming in the first quarter of 2014, we should start looking to the future of gaming (especially sports gaming) and wonder when we will start to see more emotion.

Remember this video?
Remember this video?