Are You A Cheeser? Signs You Are An Exploit Abuser And How To Save Yourself

Hi, my name is Outspoknpoet and I am a cheeser.  (At least, that’s how I think it would go if we were forced to attend a support group for using game exploits.)

im-baking-like-a-toasted-cheeser

I am a bit old school in my views of video games.  If there is something in the game that makes it easier to beat a CPU opponent, it is meant to be used… and maybe (always) abused.  For those of you that consider yourself an untouchable ‘purist’ that has never and will never use an exploit in a game I have two things to tell you.

1 – That’s BS and you know it.

2 – You are the gaming version of a hipster, congratulations.

Now that we have covered those bases, here is a quick definition from my point of view that covers what it means to be ‘cheesing’ and therefore makes you a ‘cheeser’.  Cheesing is simply defined as using a feature or mechanic in a video game in a way that exploits the AI in a way that it wasn’t necessarily intended to be used.

For instance, a few years ago I posted a video that showed the broken trade logic in Madden 12 and how you could use it to essentially trade for every single first round pick in franchise mode at the time.

The same goes for gameplay mechanics as well.  If there is a certain part of the game that you are playing where the CPU AI will move and opponent or make the opponent in question do something outside of what you would consider to be smart or normal  and you trigger that to happen if you can – that is cheesing.

Also, in sports games (especially Madden) there is a tremendous problem with cheesing that not only occurs against the CPU, but also against real-world opponents online and on local console match-ups.  A prime example of this in Madden (which seemingly hasn’t been fixed going into Madden 19) is almost every version of the screen pass.  It not only locks certain animations into motion, but it almost always guarantees a long gain on the play.  Those of you that have played Madden Ultimate Team know what I am talking about.  I would venture to say that most of us have used this more than a few times.  Here is an example…

Now, for those of you that get the picture.  Here are a few ways you can fix the problem on your end.

  1. Don’t use the play or the exploit – it really is that simple.
  2. In Madden, set up house rules for playcalling, running a certain exploit play once a game (or once a half) is a good start.
  3. Stream your games for others to watch.  Assuming you aren’t doing a speed-run (which is basically built on exploits, sigh) this kind of thing will keep you honest because there are witnesses.
  4. If it’s a difficulty thing and it can be changed (All Madden is known for making the CPU into a cheesing (if not completely cheating) AI.  I have found that setting it to All-Pro and making the sliders a bit less forgiving can be helpful.
  5. Decide what you want from your gaming experience.  If you are the type that just wants to blast the CPU all day long, go for it… cheese away.  Don’t expect to get a round of applause from your friends or anyone else – it’s your game.  You do you.

ONE THING TO NEVER DO!!!!!

Don’t cheese in online games.  We have all run into people that will use certain plays in sports games or certain tactics, characters, and/or weapons in any amount of other games.  It ruins the experience for everyone (even you) when you are cheating.  It quite simply is super uncool and if it can be proven, you should be banned from playing that game online – thankfully, some developers are taking this seriously.

Have fun out there.  Just don’t be a cheeser.

There Is Some Purity When It Comes To Being A Noob – Never Let It Go

No matter what type of hobby or interest we have taken up at any point – we have always been noobs somewhere along the line.  Gaming is no different in this regard and some people like to demonize the idea of having a new player on their team as if it is something that will forever change their online persona.  Their Win/Loss ratio or Kill/Death ration might suffer because  a teammate is new to the game.  That is probably the most common complaint about noobs online.

Everyone has asked, “How do you throw grenades?” at some point or another.

Outside of the fact that people don’t want to have a noob on their team, there are also those that don’t like how noobs play the game.  In some cases like Call of Duty, Halo or any other First Person Shooter (FPS) there are certain ‘tactics’ that frustrate more seasoned players.  Some of these are (but not limited to) – camping, using ‘over-powered’ weapons and of-course weapons like the NoobTube.

Then you have games like Madden and NCAA Football that almost completely rely on the all powerful speed rating.  All you need are a couple WRs that have 99 SPD matched up against slower defenders and the game is over in the first quarter.  Granted, these games are more susceptible to exploits because of game design flaws or simply lacking ability to effectively counter the ‘go deep’ approach.  The fact of the matter is that if you are new to a game and you are learning the ropes you should take comfort in knowing that everyone has been there before.  But shooter games are really the bigger target for what a noob or the teammate of a noob goes through and Call of Duty games are probably the most popular.

Call of Duty is a blazingly fast game that really revolves around twitchy movements and dedication to learning the nuances of the game itself.  Once you learn the basics, it becomes a relatively easy game to play.  You aren’t guaranteed to be the best in the world if you play all the time; but like anything else – you will get better.

Which is why one of the biggest problems with non-noobs (especially those in Call of Duty) are some of the worst when it comes to being respectful to new players.  The idea of ‘Prestiging’ is something that happened in Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.  Basically, you are able to level up in Call of Duty and obtain new weapons and other equipment as a result of your time invested.  Now with Modern Warfare 3 there are 20 levels of prestiging and it has started to give some gamers out there a bit of a superiority complex.  They feel that anyone that hasn’t prestiged simply is not as skilled or knowledgeable of the game as they are.  Really, all prestiging means is that people have put in more time than others.  You can play Call of Duty for 8 hours a day three days a week and reach the top prestige level – even if you are terrible.

The catch is that you will get better because you are playing the game more and more.  Don’t think for a moment that because you are new to a game and struggling that you will never get it.  The people you are playing against were in that same place at some point or another – stick it out and get better at your favorite games.  Just don’t forget that when you get to the point where you aren’t a noob that there are thousands of other gamers out there that are in your old shoes and they need your help and advice… not vulgar language or sophomoric behavior.