Bloodborne – 50 Shades of Pain

You are going to die.

That is one of the more intimidating facts of life that most people know to be true but they simply don’t want to confront or think about.

I believe that is one reason Bloodborne (much like its predecessors Demon Souls and Dark Souls 1 & 2) is going to become notorious in the PS4 community rather quickly.  The trailers make it look an awful lot like a clone/mash-up of characters from Resident Evil 4, Scythe-play from Dante’s Inferno and the apparently common setting of a steampunk dystopia like The Order 1886 and Dishonored.  That is where you can leave the comparisons.  This isn’t some sort of button mashing combo adventure game.  This is a one battle at a time journey through hell on earth… and as soon as you start to get cocky about your fighting skills – this game will kick you in the ass and curb stomp you back to reality.  Welcome to Bloodborne.

Get Used to This Part of the Game.

You Aren’t Ready For A Boss Fight… Deal With It

Most games these days like to baby you along with waypoints and tips on just about everything.  Basically making them interactive walkthrough’s rather than any sort of challenging experience.  This is something I apparently got used to over the last couple generations of consoles.  I had forgotten my roots… NES and Sega games that didn’t give a damn about telling me how to do most things ‘in game’.  Bloodborne is much the same.  Start by learning the mechanics and nuances of each weapon and item.  There are already a few nice wiki guides out there for you to peruse as well.

When you start battling against the townsfolk in this game you will think that it is a waste of time and want to skip to bosses, etc.  WRONG!  You need to put yourself in the mindset of older RPGs and games that require you to level up.  This means grinding out many battles against regular baddies and taking regular trips back to the Hunter’s Dream (basically your safe zone to repair weapons and buy some items – don’t buy blood vials or bullets though… you can get those easily in-game).

Just be patient with your character.  Get to know every inch of the city and how every different foe attacks you.  You won’t regret it and you will find the game to be a bit easier this way as well.

Meet Lech, my resident badass. He came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And he is all out of bubblegum.

You Aren’t Worthy

Don’t get too upset with all the dying.  You need to understand that it will happen – sometimes it will happen in insanely unfair ways.  My biggest pet-peeve in this game is the weapon clipping through walls and barriers.  You aren’t safe behind that pillar – I promise you!  I have wanted to throw my controller through my TV so many times over my first few hours of gameplay.  I even totally restarted a character just to have a frest start – and it helped.  Although, I should have stayed with the Blunderbuss as my side-arm.  The pistol is kind of lame in that regard… but it has its fair usage as well.

I thought this game was going to feel more like the button mashing Dante’s Inferno or God of War from the trailers and gameplay.  What really got me was the story, setting and general artwork – I saw it and was obsessed with its dark beauty.  This game is worth every penny of the $59.99.


Because it is challenging.  It gives you a ridiculous amount of gameplay and adventuring to discover new things.  Not to mention it isn’t some crappy annual release like Assassin’s Creed, Call of Duty, Battlefield or whatever other garbage big companies try to force down our throats as ‘new’ ideas and ‘new’ games.

Go out and buy Bloodborne today.  And while you are out… you might want to buy a new controller, a pack of xanax and some Red Bull.  Because you will be full of wonderful gamer rage… and you will keep coming back for more.

Happy Hunting.

EDIT – Here is a helpful tip on how to defeat Father Gascoigne.
*Have oil urns and Molotov Cocktails ready

Most people will tell you to get the music box… Yes, that is a nice way to get him to hold his ears in pain and get you some free hits.  However, if you want to dispatch this a-hole quickly you will want to use visceral counter-attacks (just as he readies to attack with axe swings have your lock on (Click R-Stick to get the lock on light while looking at him) and shoot him during his wind up.  THEN… run up in front of him and press and hold R1.  This will shove your weapon through him and cause MAJOR damage.

Once he transforms you will want to douse him with an oil urn and quickly throw a molotov cocktail on him.  This will take him down to low health.  You can either try another visceral attack or two or the oil urn/molotov combo.